Cutting Through The Lies

[00:00:12] [SPEAKER_01]: LowRide, welcome back to the Survival and Basic Badass Podcast, Kevin and Chuck.

[00:00:18] [SPEAKER_01]: Today, well we're going to talk about cutting through the BS.

[00:00:22] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't know a lot. I think young people growing up and just everybody in general,

[00:00:30] [SPEAKER_01]: sometimes it can be hard to spot a liar or even just spot a bad situation. And I think

[00:00:39] [SPEAKER_01]: that's what I wanted to dig into. I want to talk about how to kind of when you get that creepy

[00:00:46] [SPEAKER_01]: feeling and you know that like, hey, something feels off. That gut instinct and trusting your gut

[00:00:54] [SPEAKER_01]: I guess is really where I want to get into. I think your mind gives you cues to what's going on

[00:01:04] [SPEAKER_01]: and just based on, I don't even think it's people attributed to some kind of magic intuition

[00:01:12] [SPEAKER_01]: or God or all this. And that's fine. I mean, I'm not saying, oh, there's not any of these things

[00:01:19] [SPEAKER_01]: whatever. What I'm saying is, I think just based on experience, your mind recognizes, hey,

[00:01:27] [SPEAKER_01]: I've seen these patterns before and a lot of times your mind is putting things together in the

[00:01:33] [SPEAKER_01]: background that you don't maybe see on the surface. And so that's something that I wanted

[00:01:41] [SPEAKER_01]: to dig into. So Kevin, like even do you have like an example of what type of things are we talking

[00:01:48] [SPEAKER_00]: about? Well, I mean, a lot of times one of the ones that comes up a lot is you see people asking

[00:01:56] [SPEAKER_00]: for money. You know what I mean? Like a homeless person on the side of the screen.

[00:02:00] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, should I give them a 20 or you know, I want to give them a 20.

[00:02:03] [SPEAKER_00]: A little cardboard sign that says God bless and you know, that sort of stuff. And

[00:02:07] [SPEAKER_00]: and you know, maybe this person is in like a real bad situation. That isn't their fault.

[00:02:13] [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. Maybe they're planning on finding some beer money for the afternoon. I mean, how do you really

[00:02:21] [SPEAKER_01]: know? And that's the thing. Like I'm at a point in my life where, you know, oh, giving them 20 bucks,

[00:02:27] [SPEAKER_01]: it might really make his day. And for how much it's going to benefit him, it's not really going

[00:02:32] [SPEAKER_01]: to cost me that much in the scheme of things, you know? Right. Right. And you're like, well,

[00:02:37] [SPEAKER_01]: I wouldn't mind giving them 20 bucks. It's not going to kill me. I had a guy at the grocery

[00:02:41] [SPEAKER_01]: store as a young kid, like 25, 26 years old comes over and it's like, Hey, you know, we

[00:02:51] [SPEAKER_01]: dude, I'm like completely out of gas. And I just realized that my check card isn't working.

[00:02:56] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, can you give me five bucks just to get to, you know, wherever. And my, you know,

[00:03:03] [SPEAKER_01]: girlfriend or whatever. And I'm like, dude, here's 20, you know, go whatever. Now, could he do that

[00:03:08] [SPEAKER_01]: to 10 people and just be kind of hustling? Probably. But just the same to me, the cost

[00:03:14] [SPEAKER_01]: and the benefit. I was like, you know what, I'll help this guy out. I'll feel better

[00:03:18] [SPEAKER_01]: about myself. And it's all good. And I think that's kind of the thing. You weigh it

[00:03:24] [SPEAKER_01]: and you weigh how much. However, we, I have a, one of my kids, like anybody can kind of guilt them

[00:03:33] [SPEAKER_01]: into anything, you know? And they're like, Oh yeah, here take all my money and they'll go without

[00:03:38] [SPEAKER_01]: lunch because somebody's like, Oh, you know, and I'm like, you don't have money to give somebody

[00:03:44] [SPEAKER_01]: 20 bucks with, you know, like, Oh, they're hungry. Yeah. But you're hungry, you know,

[00:03:49] [SPEAKER_01]: like it doesn't, you have to decide for your own situation. What's going on?

[00:03:56] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. I remember hearing a story friend told me about, he was in line behind this guy that was

[00:04:03] [SPEAKER_00]: buying food and he didn't have enough money for the food. It was like something stupid too,

[00:04:08] [SPEAKER_00]: like a thing of ramen noodles or something. It was like, you know, four bucks or something.

[00:04:13] [SPEAKER_00]: And he said that, you know, Hey man, don't worry about it. I'll pay for it. And his car, his car

[00:04:20] [SPEAKER_00]: didn't go through either. The guy's like, Come on outside, man. I'll show you how to make some

[00:04:24] [SPEAKER_00]: money. And they went out and took him out in the street corner and, and, you know, got about

[00:04:28] [SPEAKER_00]: 20 bucks, you know, and then let's went back in and had a burger and they had, and they,

[00:04:33] [SPEAKER_00]: they were fine. But I mean, you know, when that, when you're depriving yourself

[00:04:38] [SPEAKER_00]: to help somebody else out, you really need to think about, you know, you really need to think

[00:04:43] [SPEAKER_00]: about whether or not that's a smart decision. And I'm not saying just because you're poor,

[00:04:47] [SPEAKER_00]: you shouldn't help other poor people. But what I'm saying is you need to think about yourself

[00:04:51] [SPEAKER_01]: and your family first, you know? And that's the thing. You are cheating your family

[00:04:58] [SPEAKER_01]: if you're giving away. Now again, being generous and blessing other people,

[00:05:03] [SPEAKER_01]: you're also maybe blessing your family kind of thing. I mean, you can look at it as the positive.

[00:05:09] [SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, you can look at that as karma, as a biblical sense, as a whatever. I mean,

[00:05:15] [SPEAKER_01]: we should be good people like, dude, if you're going to live with yourself,

[00:05:20] [SPEAKER_01]: you may as well feel good about yourself. And if you're just kind of a crumpy ass,

[00:05:25] [SPEAKER_01]: you know, then you're not going to feel good about yourself. And that's kind of

[00:05:29] [SPEAKER_00]: And obviously I'm not talking about favors and stuff like that. You know what I mean?

[00:05:34] [SPEAKER_00]: You can help somebody out without really benefiting, without really giving them money.

[00:05:39] [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean? If you give them a little bit of extra time,

[00:05:43] [SPEAKER_00]: that's just as good or probably a better case situation as far as actually helping somebody

[00:05:49] [SPEAKER_01]: out. That's it. That happens, you know, a lot where, you know, your friends can kind of

[00:05:56] [SPEAKER_01]: take advantage and I say friends, I guess, loosely. You know, that's the thing. Like, you know, hey,

[00:06:01] [SPEAKER_01]: my furnace doesn't work. Can you come over and help me out? It's cold out and

[00:06:05] [SPEAKER_01]: you're the guy who knows about furnaces. You know, yeah, of course, you know, let me help

[00:06:09] [SPEAKER_01]: you out, you're my buddy. But then two weeks later, hey, dude, you're a plumber and, you

[00:06:15] [SPEAKER_01]: know, my sink is dripping. Yeah, I don't really have time to help you this week. But,

[00:06:20] [SPEAKER_01]: you know, maybe, you know, and the thing is like that happens once, twice. Right. And then it

[00:06:26] [SPEAKER_01]: starts to build and then you start to recognize, you know, maybe I've told the story, whether it's

[00:06:33] [SPEAKER_01]: the full picture or not. I don't know. But kind of when I left New York, I was like, look, I just

[00:06:38] [SPEAKER_01]: can't have any more friends. I got to get out of here because I can only help so many people.

[00:06:43] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, right. And it's like now I work with a bunch of people who a lot of them are the helper

[00:06:50] [SPEAKER_00]: out kind of people, you know? Well, I mean, it's like the same situation as soon as you own a pickup

[00:06:56] [SPEAKER_00]: truck, man. All of a sudden everybody you know is moving and they need your help and they'll

[00:07:02] [SPEAKER_00]: fucking take your whole day. They'll take up your whole day. But you'll get like a warm

[00:07:08] [SPEAKER_00]: slice of pizza later on. So I mean, maybe that's worth it. Right.

[00:07:13] [SPEAKER_01]: I do like pizza. But you never get gas money. You ever notice that?

[00:07:18] [SPEAKER_00]: It's never money. It's never money. It's just some mediocre food.

[00:07:23] [SPEAKER_01]: Kevin, we're bad friends. Yeah.

[00:07:27] [SPEAKER_01]: But another thing like same example, like I know when I was in boot camp

[00:07:33] [SPEAKER_01]: and so you're an E1 in the military. So everybody's poor, right? And you should,

[00:07:37] [SPEAKER_01]: this job is a good option. So therefore you probably didn't have a lot of better options at that point.

[00:07:45] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. Right. I mean, obviously, you know, you want to serve the country and this and that. And

[00:07:50] [SPEAKER_01]: you know, and I did it for a lot of other reasons motivate you because you really could.

[00:07:54] [SPEAKER_01]: I left a job that was paying a lot more than anyone in the military, right?

[00:07:58] [SPEAKER_01]: Right. But just the same. You do it for reasons, but just the same. You're not

[00:08:03] [SPEAKER_01]: probably flushing cash if you're going into the military enlisted. That's a fair statement.

[00:08:10] [SPEAKER_01]: So our drill instructor, they tried to sign us all up, not the drill instructor personally,

[00:08:17] [SPEAKER_01]: but the Navy tried to sign us all up to give to the United Way as part of our normal thing

[00:08:23] [SPEAKER_01]: out of our paycheck. Every month, yeah. Every month. And he's like, not one of you

[00:08:28] [SPEAKER_01]: better freaking sign up for that. He's like, you're out of your damn, you're the poor people who need

[00:08:34] [SPEAKER_01]: to help. You're not the guy who should be giving away his money. And yeah, I mean, I don't know

[00:08:41] [SPEAKER_00]: what they're paying right now, but I feel like it was working like 50, 60 hours a week and you're

[00:08:48] [SPEAKER_00]: getting paid like $500 for that time. You're making like $9.50 an hour or something.

[00:08:55] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah, it's not paying out. And the thing is like, so I mean, it's all about weighing in your

[00:09:01] [SPEAKER_01]: position. Now, does that not mean you can't give your time to people? That's all worth something.

[00:09:10] [SPEAKER_01]: I like to do charity things and now I have a little more money where I can be less discriminating

[00:09:17] [SPEAKER_01]: with it and whatever. And it's not just like I didn't want the show to really just be about

[00:09:23] [SPEAKER_01]: charity. That wasn't really my thing. I guess the thing is about recognizing, you know, what's

[00:09:28] [SPEAKER_01]: going on and assessing a situation. Like I also worry about like when I send my daughters off to,

[00:09:36] [SPEAKER_01]: you know, the mall and their tire breaks down in the parking lot and the creepy guy comes over

[00:09:42] [SPEAKER_01]: and is like, Hey, I can give you a hand with that or let me give you a ride to wherever.

[00:09:47] [SPEAKER_01]: How do you recognize if that guy's telling the truth? I mean, first situation here,

[00:09:53] [SPEAKER_00]: um, let's talk about, you know, me personally, if I see a woman having a hard time with it,

[00:09:59] [SPEAKER_00]: you know, changing the tire or something like that. First off, I'm not going to go over there.

[00:10:04] [SPEAKER_00]: If somebody comes up to you already needed to be suspicious because I already look like an asshole.

[00:10:10] [SPEAKER_01]: So I'm not even going to worry about because I'm like, Oh, I am the creepy guy, you know.

[00:10:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, exactly. Exactly. But if you're with your wife or, you know, you're with your kids,

[00:10:21] [SPEAKER_00]: then, you know, you're not going to, you maybe aren't going to scare the shit out of this poor

[00:10:26] [SPEAKER_00]: lady that's got a flat tire. You know, um, if somebody comes up to me and asks me, Hey,

[00:10:32] [SPEAKER_00]: I've had a flat tire. Can you help me out? Yeah, I'll help you out, but I'm not going to go over

[00:10:36] [SPEAKER_00]: there and volunteer just being a weird creepy dude, you know, in the parking lot, you know,

[00:10:41] [SPEAKER_01]: and maybe that's wrong. I don't know. But I understand exactly what you're saying. I

[00:10:47] [SPEAKER_01]: mean, I definitely think like, Ooh, I'm going to go intimidate him and it's not, you know,

[00:10:51] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm the big scary guy. I know my wife, if she sees like a young girl broke down on the side of the

[00:10:57] [SPEAKER_01]: road, a lot of times she'll stop because she wants to put herself in harm's way also. And, uh,

[00:11:03] [SPEAKER_01]: you know, that's what she does. But she'll stop and be like, Hey, I can't really help you,

[00:11:08] [SPEAKER_00]: but I'll stay here with you. Right. I mean, you're not going to scare the

[00:11:11] [SPEAKER_00]: shit out of somebody at least most women don't scare the shit out of other women, you know?

[00:11:15] [SPEAKER_00]: I mean, to be honest, guys are creepy. Guys are creepy. Kevin, you especially. So I understand.

[00:11:25] [SPEAKER_01]: And that's the thing, you know, they see the rage against the machine shirt or nirvana today.

[00:11:31] [SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, and they're like, Oh, that guy, he's a little intimidating, you know?

[00:11:37] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah, it's the facial hair that scares most people. But I mean, whatever,

[00:11:40] [SPEAKER_00]: whatever, you know, but I mean, that's how, that's how, uh, what's his name?

[00:11:47] [SPEAKER_00]: The serial killer got away with it for so long. Ted Bundy. No, Ted Bundy was so he was like just

[00:11:52] [SPEAKER_00]: a clean cut good looking dude, you know, and talked women into getting in his car in his car with

[00:11:58] [SPEAKER_01]: it. Yeah. Just think if you're handsome and you have the pretty small, no, there are some

[00:12:03] [SPEAKER_01]: like hardcore, like narcissists type guys that are like, I don't know that just can totally smooth talk

[00:12:11] [SPEAKER_01]: and women as well. Right? That can be like, you know, hey, you know, look at my winning smile.

[00:12:18] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, you read these books and you hear about like creepy guys or you see them in a movie

[00:12:23] [SPEAKER_01]: or something. And then occasionally you see it in real life, but it's not that often

[00:12:27] [SPEAKER_01]: that you meet like a real narcissist that's like hardcore. But there are people who can manipulate

[00:12:34] [SPEAKER_01]: a situation where you're really doubting what reality is, where you're like, am I crazy?

[00:12:40] [SPEAKER_01]: Did I not see him do that? Did I not see him go in that person, take out the 20 and right? Like,

[00:12:47] [SPEAKER_01]: you know, they have you second guessing yourself. And that kind of thing can happen. It's

[00:12:58] [SPEAKER_01]: God given talent, but who can just manipulate and sell some presidential characters in the past?

[00:13:07] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. A politician. I mean, that's it. That's exactly what I was thinking. I was like,

[00:13:11] [SPEAKER_01]: there's been some guys who can like, I mean, tell me that we weren't all charmed by Bill Clinton.

[00:13:18] [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, he is a charismatic dude. And he did not have sexual relations with that woman.

[00:13:24] [SPEAKER_01]: And I believe it. I believe it now. I'm like, man, I hear it.

[00:13:28] [SPEAKER_00]: See in his mind that was 100% true. Yeah. Because sexual relations is sexual intercourse.

[00:13:37] [SPEAKER_00]: Sexual activity, that's a different thing. And I mean, both should either way. But I mean,

[00:13:43] [SPEAKER_00]: if you're going to stick a cigar in somebody, you know, I feel like that's a relationship.

[00:13:47] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, that is a special bond that you two would share. So let's talk about how to spotlight.

[00:13:57] [SPEAKER_00]: What are the sides? All right. Well, there's a lot though. So I mean,

[00:14:02] [SPEAKER_00]: you know, really it's a matter of, I mean, a lot of this you learn from having kids,

[00:14:08] [SPEAKER_00]: you know, because they're bad at lying and you see what their, you know,

[00:14:12] [SPEAKER_00]: what their issues are, you know, when you have a three year old or a four year old and

[00:14:16] [SPEAKER_00]: submissing cookies, you know, it's not really like that big of a mystery. You know,

[00:14:22] [SPEAKER_00]: You learn the tell, right? Everybody lies. I was, I was, anybody, they say it's a sign of

[00:14:28] [SPEAKER_00]: intelligence. So do you remember Coco the gorilla, the one that learned sign language?

[00:14:32] [SPEAKER_00]: Yes. She had a kitten. And when they asked her who ripped the sink out of the,

[00:14:41] [SPEAKER_00]: out of the wall, she blamed it on the kitten. You know what I mean? The kitten did. I, that wasn't me.

[00:14:46] [SPEAKER_00]: But I mean, and everybody lies to, you know, here and there. But I mean,

[00:14:50] [SPEAKER_00]: there are some lies that are really, you know, really dangerous. And if you,

[00:14:56] [SPEAKER_00]: are going to be in a situation like that, you really want to know who's,

[00:15:00] [SPEAKER_00]: who's bullshitting you and who's telling the truth. So some of the, some of the basics are

[00:15:04] [SPEAKER_00]: how do they refer to themselves? A lot of the times a somebody being honest will say words like me,

[00:15:13] [SPEAKER_00]: I, mine, you know, liars tend to like kind of want to remove themselves from the situation.

[00:15:20] [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean? And they'll use that language a little bit less.

[00:15:25] [SPEAKER_00]: Attitude and voice changes. If you accuse somebody of lying, an honest personal deny it

[00:15:32] [SPEAKER_00]: and be angry about it. You know, nobody wants to be accused of lying about something that lying about.

[00:15:38] [SPEAKER_00]: And that makes them angry. But anybody that is lying will double down on it and make swears and

[00:15:44] [SPEAKER_00]: promises and this and that, but then they'll go to change the subject and try and move on,

[00:15:49] [SPEAKER_00]: move right past it. So it's not, you know, it doesn't stand out.

[00:15:54] [SPEAKER_00]: Generally when somebody's telling you a lie, they're going to be unspecific about it.

[00:16:00] [SPEAKER_00]: You know what I mean? You know, were you, what were you doing all day? I was just at home playing

[00:16:05] [SPEAKER_00]: video games. What else did he do? That was it. Just, just playing video games, you know,

[00:16:11] [SPEAKER_00]: hung out with my friend. That's it. Liars use like qualifying words a lot too. Like almost

[00:16:21] [SPEAKER_00]: kind of, you know, sort of, you know, that sort of stuff. Non-committal language.

[00:16:32] [SPEAKER_00]: People that are lying are usually less pleasant to be around.

[00:16:38] [SPEAKER_00]: They're less cooperative, less friendly. They tend to make negative statements and complaints.

[00:16:45] [SPEAKER_00]: So if you ask them if, you know, they did something, they're going to start complaining

[00:16:49] [SPEAKER_00]: about the situation rather than, you know, straighten out what's actually going on.

[00:16:59] [SPEAKER_00]: Use of non-congruent body language. Now this is one you see with a lot of presidents.

[00:17:06] [SPEAKER_00]: I watched some videos with this where they'll be saying yes but shaking their head no.

[00:17:13] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. Or the rapid eye blinking they say yeah.

[00:17:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Uh-huh. Yeah. Not making eye contact, things like that. You know?

[00:17:23] [SPEAKER_00]: And a way to test somebody to see if they're lying is, you know, making a small lie yourself.

[00:17:32] [SPEAKER_00]: Like, you know, my kid said he was over at his friend's house and you might ask,

[00:17:38] [SPEAKER_00]: oh, I heard they were renovating their kitchen. It's a big mess over there.

[00:17:41] [SPEAKER_00]: And then the kid's in a spot. If he's lying, he's in a spot, you know?

[00:17:46] [SPEAKER_00]: Yes or no. You know, not sure that sort of thing. But if you're not lying,

[00:17:52] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't know what you're talking about. There wasn't anything going on.

[00:17:55] [SPEAKER_01]: I didn't see that going on. Yeah. Yeah. Exactly. That's one of the things.

[00:18:00] [SPEAKER_01]: Like, I was just listening to an audiobook and they're like, oh, the, uh,

[00:18:05] [SPEAKER_01]: the, uh, you know, the guy's like, oh, I'm going to see my parents in town. Oh,

[00:18:11] [SPEAKER_01]: where do they live? Oh, they're on so-and-so street. And the guy's like, I don't know that street.

[00:18:15] [SPEAKER_01]: And then he's like, is it right next to the whatever market that they don't have in the town?

[00:18:20] [SPEAKER_01]: And the guy's like, yeah, yeah, it's right next to there. And he's like, yeah, I got you.

[00:18:25] [SPEAKER_01]: And like you said, you start a lie and then you kind of test it out.

[00:18:30] [SPEAKER_01]: Right. And that's the thing. Like, you get the kids, oh, your mom sent me.

[00:18:33] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, oh, you know my mom? Yeah. How do you know my mom? Oh, we, uh, yeah. And then you kind of-

[00:18:41] [SPEAKER_00]: Worked again. Yeah. What's her name? What's her name? What are you talking about?

[00:18:44] [SPEAKER_01]: Where does she work? Oh, because she worked, you work with Alice too?

[00:18:49] [SPEAKER_01]: Oh yeah, me and Alice. Yep. There's no Alice there. Oh, that's awkward. Yeah. Just get in the car.

[00:18:57] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. There's no free candy was there. It was all bullshit. Exactly. You're always like,

[00:19:04] [SPEAKER_01]: where's the free candy? You know, or as they say in our world, you know, they have this sign

[00:19:09] [SPEAKER_01]: with the free ammo on the side of the truck. You know, and we're like, well, free ammo.

[00:19:16] [SPEAKER_00]: Oh, shit. Yeah. So I mean, a lot of this stuff, you know, I've talked to people that

[00:19:27] [SPEAKER_00]: specialize in catching liars, like, you know, people that do interrogations and things like that.

[00:19:32] [SPEAKER_00]: And generally speaking, when it comes to a big thing, whether or not you murdered somebody

[00:19:36] [SPEAKER_00]: or whether or not, you know, you committed this big crime, these, these things are a lot

[00:19:42] [SPEAKER_00]: more pronounced, you know. It's a lot harder to catch your spouse, you know, in a lie when they say,

[00:19:49] [SPEAKER_00]: you know, when you ask them something like, you know, do these pants make my ass look big?

[00:19:54] [SPEAKER_00]: No, of course not. Of course they don't. Yeah. But when it comes to bigger things,

[00:19:59] [SPEAKER_00]: it's a lot more difficult to cover it up, to lie about it, you know. Yeah.

[00:20:06] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. Now, well, that's it. As it gets more elaborate and I think that's why people

[00:20:11] [SPEAKER_01]: who are skilled at lying kind of, you know, stick to the short stories. Although sometimes

[00:20:17] [SPEAKER_01]: I think they get cocky and you have the elaborate story because they want to, you know, like dazzle

[00:20:23] [SPEAKER_00]: you with how much they can keep going. All this stuff, all this crazy stuff happened.

[00:20:29] [SPEAKER_01]: You know, because then it's totally believable because I mean, look at the detail, you know.

[00:20:34] [SPEAKER_01]: Right. Susie was wearing the red shirt and the shirt had a little ketchup stain on the front,

[00:20:40] [SPEAKER_01]: but you didn't notice it that much. And she had this blue ribbon in her hair and she tripped and

[00:20:46] [SPEAKER_01]: skid her knee and I was there putting a bandage on it all day and we had to pick out the gravel and

[00:20:52] [SPEAKER_00]: that, you know, and you're just like, yeah. Yeah. I know how that goes, man. So I mean,

[00:20:58] [SPEAKER_00]: and the truth is, you know, they say that the average person hears between four and 20 lies

[00:21:06] [SPEAKER_00]: per day. So most of those lies are like bullshit. What do you need to do this weekend? Nothing,

[00:21:12] [SPEAKER_00]: you know, that sort of stuff. You're expected. If I asked you how you're doing and...

[00:21:18] [SPEAKER_00]: You don't really want to know. Yeah. If you answer, there's only two acceptable

[00:21:22] [SPEAKER_00]: ways to answer that question. You know what I mean? Good. If you're doing good.

[00:21:26] [SPEAKER_00]: If you're not doing good, you say fine. If you say anything else, I'm going to be ears.

[00:21:32] [SPEAKER_01]: I'm getting by. That's the version of fine, you know?

[00:21:35] [SPEAKER_00]: Uh-huh. Yeah. Exactly. I don't want to have a fucking conversation about,

[00:21:39] [SPEAKER_00]: you know, about the fucking issues you're having with your aunt, you know, whatever.

[00:21:45] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't give a fuck about that stuff and nobody really does. And if I ask you how you're doing

[00:21:49] [SPEAKER_00]: and you start telling me, I'm immediately going to put an end to that conversation.

[00:21:53] [SPEAKER_01]: That was an overshare, Kevin. Right.

[00:21:56] [SPEAKER_00]: Get out of here with that bullshit. But I mean, a lot of the stuff that it...

[00:22:02] [SPEAKER_00]: The situations that you end up in, it's not always just deciding whether or not you're

[00:22:09] [SPEAKER_00]: dealing with a liar, but it's also just about making rational basic decisions right off the bat.

[00:22:17] [SPEAKER_00]: You know? And there's a couple of things you need to think about when you're making

[00:22:23] [SPEAKER_00]: decisions. You know? Your state of mind, are you desperate? Are you angry because some bullshit

[00:22:29] [SPEAKER_00]: that happened earlier? You know? Are you in an unusual good mood? If your mind is caught up

[00:22:35] [SPEAKER_01]: somewhere else, right? It's going to affect everything. Yeah. So when you're making a

[00:22:41] [SPEAKER_00]: decision, you really have to think about... First off, you have to think about what

[00:22:45] [SPEAKER_00]: your time limits are. You know what I mean? You might be driving and somebody in front of

[00:22:53] [SPEAKER_00]: you would make a decision of what you're going to do. You know? You're going to jam on your

[00:22:56] [SPEAKER_00]: brakes or you're going to go around them. That's really the options you got and you

[00:22:59] [SPEAKER_00]: got to do it now. Right.

[00:23:02] [SPEAKER_00]: But other things, are you going to take a job? Are you going to make a trip?

[00:23:08] [SPEAKER_00]: Those types of things, you have a little bit of time to actually mull over your decision.

[00:23:15] [SPEAKER_00]: They say, you've heard it before, sleep on it. That's a good idea when it comes to

[00:23:21] [SPEAKER_00]: making a hard decision. Think about it. Go to bed. Get some good sleep and think about it again in

[00:23:27] [SPEAKER_01]: the morning. And sometimes that clears things up. You know? Well, like I said, you go back to

[00:23:34] [SPEAKER_01]: guys like Napoleon Hill with a thinking grow rich kind of thing and he talks about things.

[00:23:40] [SPEAKER_01]: I feel like your mind correlates and lays things out when you stop and take a moment.

[00:23:47] [SPEAKER_01]: You know? If you sleep on it, that kind of thing. Your mind can kind of file and process everything

[00:23:53] [SPEAKER_01]: together rather than the impulse you need to decide right now. I mean, that's like the sales

[00:23:59] [SPEAKER_01]: thing is to get people to commit right away. Like, oh yeah, just say this because I'm pushing

[00:24:05] [SPEAKER_01]: you and I have you excited. I built up all this excitement. But I mean, you can also talk

[00:24:11] [SPEAKER_01]: yourself out of things. They definitely say successful people make decisions quickly.

[00:24:17] [SPEAKER_01]: But make sure you have the facts and the information before you make that decision.

[00:24:22] [SPEAKER_01]: And if you don't feel good about something, I mean, I think that's the answer is you want to

[00:24:28] [SPEAKER_01]: make decisions quickly after you learn to trust your gut. You know, once you're able to recognize

[00:24:35] [SPEAKER_01]: the feelings and the red flags going off in your head, then more and more you can kind of

[00:24:41] [SPEAKER_01]: speed up that process. And you can move ahead. And when they say make decisions quickly, it's

[00:24:47] [SPEAKER_01]: not should I start a business and I'm going to take six months or a year to get off my

[00:24:53] [SPEAKER_01]: butt and do something. You know, that's I think what they're talking about. You know,

[00:24:58] [SPEAKER_01]: it's not, hey, I'm going to be a jerk. It's, hey, let me come up with a plan and

[00:25:03] [SPEAKER_01]: move forward because you want to be an action taker. Right? Right. Now, another thing

[00:25:09] [SPEAKER_01]: is like coming up on a traumatic event. Right? You know, we have people, I've been a lot going on

[00:25:17] [SPEAKER_01]: lately where you know, one of my kids just dealt with a crisis. He came up on an accident.

[00:25:23] [SPEAKER_01]: Guy at work just had a heart attack while working and just all these things. And it's

[00:25:30] [SPEAKER_01]: like, oh, when you come to the point of, oh, I need to step in and do CPR. And do I just,

[00:25:37] [SPEAKER_01]: I don't want to be in the way. There's medical professionals here. You have to

[00:25:43] [SPEAKER_01]: take in that whole scene and decide what's right. You know, oh, you know, I don't know what I'm

[00:25:49] [SPEAKER_01]: doing. Am I going to be able to help somebody or, you know, these different things? And the more

[00:25:55] [SPEAKER_01]: you're involved in these type of things, you know, somebody who's an EMT isn't going to think

[00:26:00] [SPEAKER_01]: twice not just because they have some training to be helpful, but because they've been in

[00:26:06] [SPEAKER_01]: these traumatic events over and over. And each time you get a little bit less stressed and you're

[00:26:13] [SPEAKER_01]: able to think a little bit more clearly. And I know a lot of people like second guests and

[00:26:20] [SPEAKER_01]: beat themselves up over, you know, hey, this horrible thing just happened. And I didn't

[00:26:26] [SPEAKER_01]: react as quick as I should have. And I could have done this and I could have whatever. But

[00:26:31] [SPEAKER_01]: to be honest, if you're kind of paralyzed and your heart's racing and you can't think

[00:26:35] [SPEAKER_01]: clearly, I mean, kind of you couldn't. You know what I'm saying? Like, right, it's, it's, but more

[00:26:41] [SPEAKER_01]: and more the more you face things head on. And that's why one of the big things is as preppers,

[00:26:47] [SPEAKER_01]: we talk about playing these scenarios out in your mind, going and practicing and, and, and training.

[00:26:54] [SPEAKER_01]: And, you know, if you would just come out of the CPR class two days before and you come

[00:27:00] [SPEAKER_01]: across a guy laying on the ground, you're like, I know what to do. I just practice this.

[00:27:05] [SPEAKER_01]: And that's why, you know, we do what we do as preppers is cause it's fresh in your head. Like

[00:27:11] [SPEAKER_01]: you've played this scenario out while I'm sitting on the couch and somebody kicks in the front door.

[00:27:18] [SPEAKER_01]: A lot of people that's traumatic and I mean, be traumatic for me as well. But what I'm saying

[00:27:24] [SPEAKER_01]: is I've considered, all right, what do I do? Where do I, you know, where's my handgun?

[00:27:28] [SPEAKER_01]: Where is my whatever? I've played these scenarios out and I know how I would react.

[00:27:35] [SPEAKER_01]: And, and then as things come in, I mean, obviously heightened stress, it might be less effective

[00:27:40] [SPEAKER_01]: in reality. You might not, you know, they always, you know, what is it Mike Tyson with?

[00:27:45] [SPEAKER_01]: Everybody has a plan till they get punched in the face. Is that right? They, you know, that's,

[00:27:50] [SPEAKER_01]: that's the thing. But it's, you know, so, you know, you have a plan, but that's the

[00:27:56] [SPEAKER_01]: thing. A lot of people don't have a plan and that's the whole thing, right? You know,

[00:28:00] [SPEAKER_01]: they don't have any plan. Like somebody kicks in the door at night. They're like,

[00:28:05] [SPEAKER_01]: I have no idea what do I do? And they just cower because it's like, oh, I'm already beat

[00:28:10] [SPEAKER_01]: and you feel like you're defeated and you give up. And that's where we don't want to be.

[00:28:15] [SPEAKER_01]: The thing is, and then people beat themselves up with guilt after these scenarios. It's

[00:28:21] [SPEAKER_01]: like, ooh, I went through this traumatic event. I could have done something better.

[00:28:24] [SPEAKER_01]: Only had done it this way. If I'd had this in my car, if I'd left it in the morning instead of

[00:28:31] [SPEAKER_01]: the afternoon, I could have been there, you know, if I'd left 10 minutes earlier,

[00:28:35] [SPEAKER_01]: I would have been there to help when, when it needed help. It can't do that. You have to,

[00:28:41] [SPEAKER_01]: as long as you're honest with yourself of I did what I could do, you know, at the moment,

[00:28:46] [SPEAKER_01]: I, you know, because everybody relives and that's the thing that guilt and stuff that

[00:28:51] [SPEAKER_01]: haunts people with like PTSD and things like that is like, well, if I'd, you know,

[00:28:57] [SPEAKER_01]: done this or whatever. And even, you know, if I don't only told my kids, I loved them before

[00:29:02] [SPEAKER_01]: they left it would have had that that, you know, but, but that's the thing is learning to recognize

[00:29:10] [SPEAKER_01]: what's going on and just doing the best that you can in any given situation.

[00:29:15] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. I know that I, when I was younger, I got a new, a lot more dangerous situations,

[00:29:23] [SPEAKER_00]: you know, a lot more bad shit happened around me. But it, you know, as you get older,

[00:29:29] [SPEAKER_00]: you start learning how to just avoid that sort of situation. You know, I mean, one,

[00:29:34] [SPEAKER_00]: I don't even, I used to go out, you know, to the bars all the time. I drink at home now,

[00:29:39] [SPEAKER_00]: man. I stay at home in my mom's damn business. That's, that's a big step in the right direction,

[00:29:45] [SPEAKER_00]: you know, cheaper. I mean, but I mean, in all, you know, in all seriousness,

[00:29:55] [SPEAKER_00]: as a grownup, you kind of know the shit that's gonna, gonna lead you into situations that

[00:30:01] [SPEAKER_00]: you should, you don't want to be. Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And, and, you know,

[00:30:06] [SPEAKER_00]: nine times out of 10, it's fine. You know, you make a bad decision and whatever,

[00:30:09] [SPEAKER_00]: you just move past it. But every once in a while, you find yourself in a situation that,

[00:30:16] [SPEAKER_00]: that you shouldn't be in at all, you know? Yeah. And it's best to, it's best to learn how to avoid

[00:30:23] [SPEAKER_00]: those potential things. You know, I think, you know, you know, like I've made that,

[00:30:30] [SPEAKER_00]: like I was talking about going out to the bars and stuff like that, that's

[00:30:35] [SPEAKER_00]: only part of it though, you know, I mean, part of it is, is making the poor decisions,

[00:30:39] [SPEAKER_00]: making the, you know, or being around people that make poor decisions. I used to have a friend of

[00:30:45] [SPEAKER_00]: mine that he wasn't like a really aggressive person, but I always found myself like trying to get him

[00:30:53] [SPEAKER_00]: from getting his ass beat by somebody or actually being in a fight every time I went out and hung

[00:30:58] [SPEAKER_00]: out with them because he draws, he draws trouble, you know? That's not the sort of person you

[00:31:04] [SPEAKER_00]: want to be and it's not the sort of person you want to hang out with. Right. But you

[00:31:08] [SPEAKER_01]: might want that psycho hanging out with you later, later on after the crap hits the fan, right? Then

[00:31:16] [SPEAKER_01]: you want that guy on your side because you're like, oh, we'll just send him in first. Yeah.

[00:31:21] [SPEAKER_01]: And he can go kind of stir some stuff up and then while they're all trying to contain the monster

[00:31:26] [SPEAKER_01]: that is psycho there, then they can, you know, then we can just slip in from,

[00:31:32] [SPEAKER_00]: from the outside. So, I don't know, maybe that's horrible. Let's talk about some other

[00:31:40] [SPEAKER_00]: things that come into decision. All right. Well, one thing is you want to

[00:31:48] [SPEAKER_00]: make your decisions quickly, but you also don't want to make your decisions before you gather

[00:31:52] [SPEAKER_00]: as much information as possible, right? You know, you want to go through and separate

[00:31:58] [SPEAKER_00]: facts from opinions, you know, things that you know versus things that you think.

[00:32:04] [SPEAKER_00]: It's also a valuable thing to like weigh pros and cons, you know, the benefits and the downsides

[00:32:10] [SPEAKER_00]: of each of each, you know, choice that you have the option of. It's also important to

[00:32:16] [SPEAKER_00]: focus on the desired outcome. Like overall what is the goal? You know, making decision,

[00:32:22] [SPEAKER_00]: which one is going to move you closer towards your ultimate goals in life?

[00:32:28] [SPEAKER_00]: You know, you had mentioned earlier about trusting your gut and that's a big one.

[00:32:32] [SPEAKER_00]: There's a lot of stuff that, that a lot of information that you pick up on visually,

[00:32:39] [SPEAKER_00]: you know, things you hear even things you smell, you know, and you might not necessarily

[00:32:47] [SPEAKER_00]: categorize that as facts or important information, but in the back of your mind,

[00:32:52] [SPEAKER_00]: your gut's going to tell you, you know, kind of, it'll give you some advice,

[00:32:56] [SPEAKER_00]: you know, some instincts that you might have. And the other thing is about making

[00:33:02] [SPEAKER_00]: decisions is you have to be flexible, you know, you have to be thinking about,

[00:33:07] [SPEAKER_00]: you know, maybe you have two options, but you need to think about maybe what a third option

[00:33:11] [SPEAKER_00]: would be. You know, maybe not necessarily a compromise in the middle might be something,

[00:33:18] [SPEAKER_00]: you know, way out of left field, but it might be a better option than the things that you're

[00:33:24] [SPEAKER_01]: thinking about. I think that's it. And it's really, you know, kind of what we were saying is

[00:33:31] [SPEAKER_01]: a lot of it does come from life experience. You know, oh, we've made deals like this before

[00:33:36] [SPEAKER_01]: and when it's been a win for everybody is if we do this other scenario, you know,

[00:33:42] [SPEAKER_01]: that kind of thing. That's how you can, you know, encourage these just like, I mean,

[00:33:46] [SPEAKER_01]: it's the same thing as me saying, you know, hey, you come up on an accident. Once you've

[00:33:50] [SPEAKER_01]: done it five times, you know, kind of where things fall apart, you know what, whatever,

[00:33:55] [SPEAKER_01]: but it's the same with the business deal. It's the same with coming up on an ambush,

[00:33:59] [SPEAKER_01]: same with, you know, oh, we're coming to a checkpoint and I see, you know, they have

[00:34:03] [SPEAKER_01]: this around. Well, you know, I know other times they had snipers up on the hill and it really

[00:34:09] [SPEAKER_01]: caught us off guard. We thought we were dealing with two idiots at the bottom, but there was

[00:34:13] [SPEAKER_01]: really somebody over in the back, you know, to look for things that are, you know, unique.

[00:34:19] [SPEAKER_01]: Oh, I came up on this accident. I need to look at, Hey, I remember last time I didn't do

[00:34:24] [SPEAKER_01]: anything to stop the oncoming traffic or whatever. And we really put ourselves at risk there.

[00:34:29] [SPEAKER_01]: Now, you know, I know that's something I need to be cautious about or, you know, whatever.

[00:34:34] [SPEAKER_01]: It's a different scenario each time. But the more you play out scenarios and prepare,

[00:34:40] [SPEAKER_01]: or the more you actually have firsthand experience, the better at dealing with these

[00:34:45] [SPEAKER_01]: things you're going to be. And that's why like to be president, we say, oh, we want

[00:34:49] [SPEAKER_01]: you to be at least 40 years old. Well, because hopefully enough of the, you've had enough

[00:34:53] [SPEAKER_01]: time for these things to play out and give you some experience. Now, we didn't come up with a

[00:35:00] [SPEAKER_01]: role of you need to be decrepit in 80 years old to do anything. We didn't come up with that role,

[00:35:05] [SPEAKER_01]: but just enough time to have some practical experience. Right. That makes a difference

[00:35:11] [SPEAKER_01]: in your decision making. And that's why they say, you know, listen to your elders,

[00:35:16] [SPEAKER_01]: learn from things. And it doesn't mean there's always right. They're always right.

[00:35:20] [SPEAKER_01]: Right. There's a lot of old people who are complete idiots, right? There's a lot of them.

[00:35:25] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. It's easy to look at being an idiot in the United States today, but

[00:35:30] [SPEAKER_01]: Right. But you want to consider what they say and other people's experience, especially

[00:35:36] [SPEAKER_01]: when you see people who've consistently made good decisions. Right. If somebody who has

[00:35:43] [SPEAKER_01]: $5 million in the bank says to me, Hey, you know, let me tell you what I think

[00:35:49] [SPEAKER_01]: you should do with your money. I'm going to listen to a guy, a lot more, that guy, a lot more

[00:35:53] [SPEAKER_01]: than I'm going to listen to the guy who's got, you know, $20 and just had to borrow 200 from

[00:35:59] [SPEAKER_01]: me last week. You know, that guy, I'm probably not going to take financial advice from, whereas

[00:36:05] [SPEAKER_01]: the guy hopefully his money isn't in the bank because that's a bad decision. But if he has

[00:36:10] [SPEAKER_01]: $5 million in assets somewhere, then, you know, I'm going to respect his opinion

[00:36:15] [SPEAKER_01]: more than the guy I'm loaning $200 tell payday every other week about good financial ideas.

[00:36:22] [SPEAKER_00]: Right. Right. Because obviously they're not making good financial ideas.

[00:36:27] [SPEAKER_00]: Right. Like they always say,

[00:36:28] [SPEAKER_00]: Yeah. It's like taking birth control advice from somebody that has five kids with three

[00:36:32] [SPEAKER_00]: different women. You know, I'm not interested in your rhythm or however it is that you're

[00:36:39] [SPEAKER_00]: trying not to have your next baby.

[00:36:41] [SPEAKER_01]: Right. It works great. Like 60% of the time, you know,

[00:36:46] [SPEAKER_00]: 60% of the time it works all the time.

[00:36:51] [SPEAKER_01]: Yeah. But that's kind of one of those things is to recognize the people and who they are.

[00:36:59] [SPEAKER_01]: And that's how you judge things. You know, hey, do they have success in what I'm looking for?

[00:37:06] [SPEAKER_01]: Your coworker who wants to go in with you on the deal. No, they always say like that's one of

[00:37:11] [SPEAKER_01]: the things right? People are like, yeah, pitch my idea to 100 people and they're all like,

[00:37:16] [SPEAKER_01]: that's a dumb idea. It's not going to work. Then it's not because you're getting an unfair shot.

[00:37:23] [SPEAKER_01]: It might be because you have a dumb idea and it's not going to work. They say if you have

[00:37:27] [SPEAKER_01]: the right idea, then people will find you, you know, if you have a good idea,

[00:37:33] [SPEAKER_01]: the money will find you. And I think that's kind of how it works, but it doesn't mean

[00:37:40] [SPEAKER_01]: you don't have a good idea. It means you need to put it together and present it

[00:37:44] [SPEAKER_01]: in an effective manner to get there too. You know, it's not all one-sided. You know,

[00:37:50] [SPEAKER_01]: there aren't absolutes. I was kind of wanting to put that little caveat out there. But that's

[00:37:57] [SPEAKER_01]: so much of all this relates because it really just comes down to decision making.

[00:38:03] [SPEAKER_01]: And that's so much in your life. And the best way to make a good decision is by being prepared.

[00:38:11] [SPEAKER_01]: And the best way to be prepared is to seek out information and to find the knowledge, you know,

[00:38:17] [SPEAKER_01]: to get that CPR training, you'll be better at prepared to deal with the guy who, you know,

[00:38:22] [SPEAKER_01]: is lying on the ground or first aid trauma training. You'll be better to deal with

[00:38:27] [SPEAKER_01]: that car accident and things that come up. If you're, you know, research about investments and loans

[00:38:34] [SPEAKER_01]: and mortgages and things like that, you'll be better to make that decision when it comes up.

[00:38:40] [SPEAKER_01]: But it's the same thing with if you've, you know, dealt with creepy people and seen people and

[00:38:48] [SPEAKER_01]: recognized, you know, narcissists and things like that to know when you're being manipulated

[00:38:53] [SPEAKER_01]: and also understanding how to see through the lies, you know, like Kevin was talking about

[00:39:00] [SPEAKER_01]: of recognizing when people are lying to you and to watch their agitated state or whatever.

[00:39:06] [SPEAKER_01]: And like I said, with a hardcore narcissist, you know, you don't even, you know, no,

[00:39:10] [SPEAKER_01]: I used to like watching, there's that show, I don't know where the guy detects the lies has

[00:39:15] [SPEAKER_01]: the company. I don't know. I don't know if there's actually a couple of them where they

[00:39:20] [SPEAKER_01]: kind of read people's facial expressions and lies and things like that. And I find that stuff

[00:39:26] [SPEAKER_01]: entertaining, you know, to watch shows like that. And, you know, you just learn over time

[00:39:33] [SPEAKER_01]: and you also learn by mistakes. It turns out, you know, mistakes actually can help you in the

[00:39:39] [SPEAKER_01]: future because you burn me once hopefully I'm not going to fall for that same bruise.

[00:39:44] [SPEAKER_00]: Right. Multiple times. There's nothing wrong with, yeah, there's nothing wrong with making

[00:39:47] [SPEAKER_00]: a mistake. There is something more wrong with making the same mistake multiple times, you know.

[00:39:53] [SPEAKER_01]: They always say, you know, fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me, you know,

[00:39:59] [SPEAKER_01]: because that's the, you know, that's how it goes. But yeah, just realize that experience kind of

[00:40:06] [SPEAKER_01]: comes with stuff, but only trust the experience that comes from somebody who's had success in

[00:40:12] [SPEAKER_01]: the issue. I guess that's kind of where I'm going with that. But anyway, hopefully we all

[00:40:19] [SPEAKER_01]: learned some stuff, had a good time. We entertained you and know that so I am going to be at Prepper

[00:40:26] [SPEAKER_01]: Camp coming up at the end of September, preppercamp.com. You can check that out. I'll put it in the

[00:40:31] [SPEAKER_01]: show notes. Guys might appreciate that. We do have some cool t-shirts, some cool gear that

[00:40:38] [SPEAKER_01]: you can get at our website. It's the survival and basic badasspodcast.com. You can click on the gear

[00:40:47] [SPEAKER_01]: and shop or something over there. We have an email list you could sign up to. If you have

[00:40:53] [SPEAKER_01]: show ideas, thoughts, concerns, things you want to tell us about, email us at preppingbadass.com.

[00:40:59] [SPEAKER_01]: Email.com. Otherwise, I would say stay safe and we will talk to you guys next week.